One-Sleeve Shrug

One of the least useful articles of clothing ever designed. 
Well, unless one of your arms is more sensitive to the cold than the other...

Ventilated Dress

Who can fault her for looking so infinitely uncomfortable?

Man Up

I can't decide if that guy is wimpy for agreeing to wear that hideous vest or if he's just such a manly man that he can wear anything without feeling emasculated... (And he didn't want to hurt his wife's feelings by refusing to wear the vest after she made it for him.  Aw.)

...But I tend to lean toward the opinion that, dude, you're going to have to tell her that you hate wearing her "handicrafts" one of these days.  Let today be the day.  (Or rather, whenever it was in March/April 1987 should have been the day.)

Granny Sheath

There should be a law against this sort of thing...
Where are the Fashion Police when you really need them?

Carefree

Sure, the cover says it's "carefree"...

...but I don't care what they say:  Someone always ends up hurt (and maybe bleeding) in those "free love" situations.

(Ok, maybe it's just me, but that pose makes it look like the girls are sharing Eric Forman, there.) 

How many of you want one of those groovy granny-square-and-stripes tops?  Actually, I do kind of like the sleeves... They're kind of a toned-down, mild-mannered version of Molly Weasley's sleeves.

Freeform Swimsuit

You can find photos of some really amazing, elaborate freeform Irish crochet out there, but sometimes freeform just goes horribly awry...

Credit Where Due

In the spirit of giving credit when it's due, at least the designer had the decency to make the fabric solid in the, um, pelvic region.  He or she didn't have to extend us that courtesy, you know.

Spoiled for Topics

 

Oh, gosh.
This is another of those "where to start" situations.  That is one seriously crazy dress!

How do I mock thee, dress?  Let me count the ways!

1. The openwork skirt.  Look closely; you can see her thighs through the holey fabric.  (I, for one, prefer not to put my underwear on display, but I'm kind of old-fashioned like that...)
2. The big holes in the bodice.  (Why are they there?)
3. The HUGE hole in the back of the dress.  (And the odd strands connecting the top to the skirt.)
4. The ugly yarn.  (Yes, I'm being judgmental of the yarn.  I just don't like it.)
5. The row of fringe (?) about halfway down each sleeve.
6. The spiral fringe at the neckline.  (On top of everything else, it's just too much.)

But hey, apart from that, it's actually not too bad for a knitted/crocheted dress.  I like the length of the sleeves and skirt, the ruffles at the sleeves... the fit... It we could just address the items on my mocking list...

Granny Stitches Ain't for Everything

I like granny squares and "granny stripes" as much as the next person, but let's be honest:  It's not the right stitch pattern for everything.  For example-- this shirt and floppy hat.  They really shouldn't exist, and it's a crying shame that they do.

Fashion Meshy-Tunic

She's stylin'!

Backwards

Don't you just love how this crochet top is open-work in the front and solid fabric in the back? 
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Fuzzy Flowers

...You know, maybe there's a reason God decided not to make flowers out of fuzzy novelty yarn. 

Just a thought.

You Don't Bring Me Flowers

Crocheted and knitted flowers in a vase-- for when you reach that point at which silk flowers just don't look fake enough for you anymore.  (The crocheted butterfly is looking a bit... sickly, though.)

Inspiring Bikini-Vest Combo

Ooh, where to start?

• Love the use of variegated yarn, here.  It's inspiring.
• That vest is to die for.  A bikini just looks ridiculous without a matching vest, honestly. 
• It looks like the model may be so thin that she has to hold the bikini bottoms up to keep them from falling right off.

"Beer Mug Toilet Tissue Cover"

Gorgeous.  Just the thing to plop on your toilet tank.  So much more attractive than an uncovered roll of toilet tissue would be, don't you think?  Coordinates so well with all the other alcohol-themed decorations in your average powder room.  (Maybe it's meant for the restrooms in a bar.)

(I happen not to drink beer, really, so can someone please explain to me why there appears to be a leaf sticking out of the foam...?)

Falling Leaves

I tell you, with the arrival of the first warm, humid days of the year, I'm already looking forward to autumn!  Maybe I can satisfy my longing for falling leaves with something like this:

Be Still, My Beating Heart!

Wow.  Take a look at the costumes in the album cover on Sols(tr)ikke today.

They're incredible!

(Apparently the woman is Bonnie St. Claire, a Dutch singer.  I guess the men were the rest of her band.  Or possibly her male crochet-clad harem.  Every late 1960s/early 1970s songstress worth her salt had one, you know.)

À La Piscine

Out of all the gorgeous knitted and crocheted swimwear you've seen here on YarnYuck, you still haven't found just the right one for you?  (Picky, picky.)  Well, how about one of these? 

The little number in the back, which I think of as "X Marks the Spot", at least isn't the worst we've seen, not that that's much of a recommendation... But as for the other one, it's awful, but I'm not sure what to call it.  Suggestions?

Three-fer!

Score One:
Little Miss Wear-Something-Underneath on the right...

Scores Two & Three:
Awkward poses for the win!!! 
a.k.a. "Throw yo' hands in the air like ya just don't care!" and the Squat Squad.

Multi-Use

Isn't it great when you can use the same item for multiple purposes?  You know... Like that silky scarf that doubles as a groovy belt.

...Or like this capelet/poncho hybrid-thing.  It could totally work as a fashionable broom cover.  (Remember those things?  I think my mother had one back in the 80s/early 90s...)