Carefree

Sure, the cover says it's "carefree"...

...but I don't care what they say:  Someone always ends up hurt (and maybe bleeding) in those "free love" situations.

(Ok, maybe it's just me, but that pose makes it look like the girls are sharing Eric Forman, there.) 

How many of you want one of those groovy granny-square-and-stripes tops?  Actually, I do kind of like the sleeves... They're kind of a toned-down, mild-mannered version of Molly Weasley's sleeves.

The Real Deal

After yesterday's modern(ish) wanna-be-hippie-mama, it seemed fitting to feature the genuine article, today. 

Now, I know his hair isn't quite as long and oily as you'd probably like.  (I was a little disappointed on that front, myself...) But just look at that shirt/tunic.  You can't wear something like that unless you're a licensed, card-carrying hippie-dude.  (Or so I've been told.)

Granny Stitches Ain't for Everything

I like granny squares and "granny stripes" as much as the next person, but let's be honest:  It's not the right stitch pattern for everything.  For example-- this shirt and floppy hat.  They really shouldn't exist, and it's a crying shame that they do.

Fashion Meshy-Tunic

She's stylin'!

Bejeweled

Don't even think about wearing this top unless your bellybutton is dripping in diamonds. 
(Oh, and elastic-band gym pants are the only way to go, too.)

Giraffe-Neck

#1:  If you don't need sleeves or the top fourth of your shirt, you probably don't need a neck-warmer, either.

#2:  The neck-warmer portion looks like someone made only the neck section of a turtleneck. 

#3:  I know that long, swanlike necks are supposed to be the ideal of beauty, but it's possible to take things too far, and this neck-warmer isn't helping matters.

Fake Sleeves

Well, sure, they were faster to make than real sleeves would've been, but honestly, who do you think you're fooling?

Doily Shirt-- for MEN

For the hippy-dude in your life... Doily Shirt-- for MEN.

Handle with Care

I look at this photo and think, "Ach!  No!  Stop!  You're stretch it out!!!  Someone worked very hard crocheting that top, young lady, and if you can't treat it with the respect it deserves, you won't be allowed to wear it again.  I'll take it right off you, give it to some other little girl who will take good care of it, and then you'll just have to wear one of your old, stained t-shirts.  Is that what you want?  Well, is it?"

I mean, I get it, Miss Model.  You don't like the shirt, but is that any excuse for stretching it all out of shape?  How unprofessional!

Doily Fashion

Ooh, boy, you're in for a treat today!
We have a doily shirt!!!
...With Irish crochet roses!!!
...And someone who was willing to model it with her bra showing underneath, clear as day...

There is also a model in what appears to be a doily-based slip and/or nighty... only she's modeling it in a pair of red high heels and in full jewelry... So maybe we are meant to understand that this is what she's wearing as she prepares to leave the house... But that's impossible, so I refuse to believe it.  No, she's just all dressed up for the boudoir.  Yep.  That must be it. 

Wear Something... On Top?

Today's photo illustrates how, if you simply must wear holey fabric but can't bring yourself to wear something (or much of something) underneath, you can still give a nod to decency with a little strategically placed fringe:

(I'm not sure why the fringe starts higher on one side of the shirt than the other, though... Ran out of yarn, maybe?)

Beach Bum

On one hand, this model looks like the epitome of the beach bum...

...but on the other, maybe a beach bum is practically the only type of man who would wear this type of garment.

Diagnosis YarnYuck

This looks like an acute case of fug-induced coma... 

...but then again, I'm not a doctor (don't even play one on TV), nor am I a reputable fashion critic (is there such a thing?).

If I Only Had a Brain!

This is what all the very most fashionable scarecrows are wearing this season:

What is that?  Burlap?  Yarny mesh?  Or (~shudder~) that stiff plastic canvas stuff?  Whatever it is, it is Wrong (and it looks uncomfortable).

Hippity-Hoppity

Whoa!  I'm having Men in Mesh Week flashbacks!

So tell me... what kind of woman is turned on by a dude in a meshy, sleeveless top decorated with a Playboy Bunny?  I guess it's the same kind of woman who likes a dude in those pants and that Playboy Bunny belt buckle...

(Sometimes, I tremble for the fate of the world.  Other times, I just snort in dismay and carry on with my life.)

No Gender Confusion Here!

Ever since the day when that horrid woman in the grocery store had mistaken the bald-headed infant Madeleine for a baby boy, her parents had taken pains to prevent any future misunderstandings... 

Brr!

I almost feel sorry for her...

The MC Hammer balloon pants-- the tasseled belt-- the bare, probably chilly, sucked-in-for-the-camera tummy...

...But really, she brought this all upon herself.  Wear something underneath, lady!

Bikers Luv Fringe

Well, maybe not, but it's the only possible explanation I could come up with for this:

VROOM-VROOM, baby!

Bad Sign

It's always a bad sign...

...yes, a very bad sign when your top reminds one (forcibly) of those old-fashioned, woven rag rugs Grandma used to have scattered around her kitchen floor...

Where, Pray Tell?

Just where, exactly, are you supposed to wear this knit set?

"Around the house" is the only remotely acceptable answer that comes to mind, but I wouldn't want to jeopardize my marriage.  Ok, so I jest-- but why is the top designed to reveal the belly-- that very part of the body that probably 90% of us would rather not put on prominent display?