"High" Fashion

There's not much emphasis on the yarn in this one, but you'll not go starving for the yuck!

Sometimes (most times?) when you look at so-called high fashion, you can't help thinking that yes, someone must've been very "high" indeed to come up with such bizarre ideas. 

Ideas like tumbleweed hair:

Or ideas like scary eye makeup:

(Sheesh!  Don't her eyes look big enough as they are, without adding a half-inch of eyeliner??)

Or even ideas like... whatever the heck this is supposed to be:

(Hey, look!  There's yarn in that last one!  And what a poor use of it, too...)

The Lion, the Witch and the Very Odd Wardrobe Choice

Have you seen the 2005 version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe?  While not strictly necessary, a familiarity with the costuming in that film will increase your enjoyment of today's Yarn Yuck offering.

That's because these bizarre collars are quite reminiscent of that crazy get-up worn by Jadis, the White Witch, in the movie's final battle scene.  (This is the costume to which I refer.)

Right?
I'm right, aren't I?

This is the one she wears to fancy parties-- her version of the Little Black Dress:

. . . And this one is for when she's in the mood for something a little more colorful:

I suppose that if you're an evil witch ruling the world in a fantastical parallel universe, you can pretty much get away with wearing anything-- even this.  I mean, if someone smirks-- stiffles a laugh-- raises an eyebrow-- ZAP! you just turn them to stone.  (That'll quiet the rest of them!)  But for those of us who live in the real world. . . maybe it's best to give this one a miss.

Giant Floor Balls in the Wild

Imagine my delight when I stumbled upon another photo of the elusive Giant Floor Ball! 

Here we find them not in captivity (as in the photo in the entry linked above) but in their natural habitat-- the backyard lounge area. 

Ah, yes!  Here in these verdant surroundings they are free to be themselves, frollicking around the hammock where. . .

*clears throat nervously*

Eh, what exactly are all those pillows doing? 

*briefly consults volume titled Guide to the Wild Yarnthings of North America*

. . . Ahem.  Yes, well, that concludes our blog entry for the day! 

*shoos a couple stray readers out the door, looks back once more at the photo, shudders, and flicks the light-switch off*

What the. . .?

A word of warning:
If you're a teensy bit prudish (as I myself happen to be), you may wish to shoo any stray children or other innocents from the room before scrolling down to this post's photo. 



Sorry to trouble the rest of you folks,

but since this is generally-- I hope--

a fairly family-safe blog, I felt I ought

to give a little warning this time. . .



Wouldn't want to embarrass anyone. . .



. . . I don't want to be the reason little

Bobby or Susie start asking Mommy

awkward questions, for instance. . .



I also wouldn't want your co-workers

(who just happen to pass by at

the wrong moment) to think you're

a total weirdo. . . 



Okay, back to your regularly scheduled blog entry!



The title (which, to remind you, is "What the. . .?") says it all, really.

What more is there to say-- what more to do than to stare in horror and disbelief?

(Still, because this is a blog, I will say something more. . .)

What is this meant to be?  A swimsuit?  Lingerie?  Either way, it is clearly the result of a severe lapse in judgment. 

Also:  If (perish the thought) you ever find yourself compelled to crochet a swimsuit / teddy / whatever the heck this thing is, please consider using a color slightly more appealing and flattering than harvest gold (with a touch of pea soup).  Just a helpful hint. 

(Dear Readers, prepare yourselves:  There are more entries in the "What the. . .?" series just waiting to be written and posted.  You'll never know when one might pop up next.  Live and read in fear, my friends.  You're never as safe as you think you are.  Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!  Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!)

My Next Crochet Project

I think I've figured out my next crochet project!  I can hardly wait to begin!!  

Now, which lucky person on my Christmas gift list is going to get this little gem. . .?

Isn't that just incredible?

What were you supposed to do with this "Giant Floor Ball"?  (No, seriously, that's what it's called.  Look closely at the bottom right-hand corner.)  Is it for sitting on?  Decoration only?  Could it be a toy for the children?  Or is it strictly for leaning against, as the model demonstrates?  Don't you just love the look on her face?  There's nowhere she'd rather be than cozied up with her Giant Floor Ball.  It's her favorite place for romantic daydreams.  (Maybe this woman just has odd taste in home decor.  See that figurine on the table behind her?  Well, it's not my taste, at least...)

There are more yarn atrocities from the same source (a book) on this page.