Man Up

I can't decide if that guy is wimpy for agreeing to wear that hideous vest or if he's just such a manly man that he can wear anything without feeling emasculated... (And he didn't want to hurt his wife's feelings by refusing to wear the vest after she made it for him.  Aw.)

...But I tend to lean toward the opinion that, dude, you're going to have to tell her that you hate wearing her "handicrafts" one of these days.  Let today be the day.  (Or rather, whenever it was in March/April 1987 should have been the day.)

Retrolicious

Ooh!  Matching vest and leg-warmers!  And a poodle-perm to boot!

Inspiring Bikini-Vest Combo

Ooh, where to start?

• Love the use of variegated yarn, here.  It's inspiring.
• That vest is to die for.  A bikini just looks ridiculous without a matching vest, honestly. 
• It looks like the model may be so thin that she has to hold the bikini bottoms up to keep them from falling right off.

Bizarre

Not for the faint of heart.

"A New Wrinkle"

I think this type of thing is the reason so many people are convinced that crochet is most decidedly not for garments:

...And what exactly makes this "a vest for all seasons"? 

...Please, someone reassure me that this doesn't mean the vest is supposed to worn alone (i.e. sans turtleneck) in the summertime...

...Please?

Kooky

Want to secure your identity as the neighborhood "eccentric"?

You can't go wrong with a kooky vest:

What better use for scraps of yarn?

A Word of Fashion Advice

Do not-- I repeat, do NOT wear a belt on top of a knitted or crocheted vest. 

It's not a Good Look.

You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yeti!

The Abominable Snowman trim really makes this vest, don't you think?

Sure, it's a little pricey, but you're worth it.

Big & Tall

"Vest designed for the large man in mind":

This is basically a tank top made of yarn.  Not exactly flattering.

Fringe Theory

I have a theory.  It goes a little something like this:

A crocheter's or a knitter's level of skill is inversely proportional to the likelihood of his/her knitting or crocheting a garment composed almost entirely of fringe.

Fringe has the benefit of hiding any number of flaws, which can be alluring to a beginner.  But then there's the downside of fringe-based clothing-- namely, that you usually end up looking something like this:

Fringe.  In its place, it's a thoroughly acceptable way to add a little pizazz to your knitting or crochet project.  You could even say that it's a time-honored tradition.  However, if you don't exercise a little restraint, your hard work might end up resembling the shaggy pelt of an abominable snowman.

The Suspense is Killing Me!

These models in the matching crochet vests look awfully concerned, don't they?

While the vests probably aren't the very most beautiful pieces of hook-work I've ever seen, I still don't think they need to be quite this paranoid about being seen in them. . .

It's almost as through they know there's a raving maniac lurking somewhere in the vicinity.  They've got to keep their cool for the photo shoot, because times are tough and they need the money, but they're gonna keeps their eyes peeled and be prepared to make a run for it at the first sign of trouble.

. . . Or maybe they're like a version of "Charlie's Angels", but their "Charlie" requires they wear matching crocheted vests.  A uniform of sorts.  And we just happened to find them at a very tense moment. . . Debra has been taken hostage, so Sandy and Margot have agreed to meet her captors in the park. . . Darn their matching pink crocheted vests!  They stick out like sore thumbs in these things!


. . .Yeah, well, that's all I've got.  Take your pick.

"Crocheted Rag Vest"

When you find yourself designing, making, or (heaven forbid) wearing something with the word "rag" in its name, it's really time to stop and reconsider for a moment, don't you think?*

I mean. . . It's a rag.  Rags are generally considered to be past the wearing stage.  That's what makes them rags.  They're clothing and other fabric goods that have done their Duty, fulfilled their purpose in life, and gone on to their reward-- the rag bag, where they wait in peaceful mustiness for whatever lies Beyond.  Digging them out again-- reincarnating them into new clothes-- it's just wrong, like desecrating a cemetery. . . or something.

Ok, ok, so perhaps this vest wasn't made from actual rags.  It still looks awfully raggedy.

I only caught glimpses of the Beauty and the Beast TV series from the late 80s, but this is the type of thing I seem to recall the tunnel dwellers wearing.  Even though Tunnelopolis (Tunnelville?  Tunnelton?  Aw, whatever...) was supposed to be a utopian society in the series, I don't really want to look like someone who lives in a subterranean community hidden somewhere beneath NYC.  But that's just me.

*Obviously, this does not apply to rag quilts, which are indisputably charming.

A Fringe Too Far

It takes a brave woman to wear a vest that looks like it might have been made from her own hair:

Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as too much fringe, and I think we're looking at it right. now. . .

(Well, at least she had the decency to wear something underneath it.)

"For Men Only"

Personally, I think these sweaters are fairly amusing.  With the green vest, it's mainly the way it's worn. . . and the neckline.  (A V-neck would be more masculine here, wouldn't it?)  Then there's the harvest gold cardigan with that silly-looking belt.  However, in this case, mocking the knits is only an afterthought. 

The name of this knitting pattern book-- For Men Only-- takes on a whole new meaning when you look at the posing of the models. . .

Is it just me or is Dude A looking at Dude B a little too interestedly for them to be casual acquaintances or best buds?

Maybe it's that "one hand on his hip and the other hand on his chin" pose. . .

"Hm," he seems to be thinking. . . "Hm. . . I never noticed before how perfectly Dude B's feathered hair feathers. . .  That is one fine-lookin' man!"

. . . Or maybe I've just been looking at knitwear too long and it's addled my brain.