Falling Leaves

I tell you, with the arrival of the first warm, humid days of the year, I'm already looking forward to autumn!  Maybe I can satisfy my longing for falling leaves with something like this:

...But Not Quite

Almost mink:

Red Pill / Blue Pill?

Check out this awesome crochet lace coat!

Maybe it's the shades... or those boots... or the model's stance... but I'm definitely getting a Matrix vibe here. 

...Well, you know, if The Matrix were populated by characters who loved to crochet...

Rags to Riches-- Er, or Maybe Not...

If you're like a lot of knitters and crocheters who've been "at it" for a while, you've probably accumulated a supply of leftover bits and bobs of yarn-- a scrap stash, if you will.  A project rarely requires exactly the amount of yarn in that last ball or skein.  We can't bear to waste the leftover yarn, so we keep it, even though it's usually not enough on its own to supply a whole new project and it's often impossible to buy more of that color or dye lot.  

So what's a knitter/crocheter to do?

Well, I'll tell you one thing-- it's not a valid excuse to make something like this:

Ugh.  It's made of loop fringe.
It looks like some ill-conceived rag rug... from a 1970s kitchen... that has been on the floor getting heavy use since the 1970s... and never once washed during that entire period.  (I.e. probably not the sort of thing you want to wear as a coat.)

Please, my fellow scrap hoarders.  There are better options available to us.  Keep looking!  Don't despair!  Don't cave in and make a rag rug coat!

Amazing

This crochet coat is probably not the easiest thing to make.  All those colors and patterns.  It certainly looks complicated.  Lots of counting involved, I'd imagine.  Reading detailed charts, maybe. 

And yet. . . After all that toil and trouble, you end up looking like you wandered off the set of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat:

. . . Which, strangely, is probably not a look that most of us want.

Swagger

This one is only funny because of the name, I think.

The "Ladies' Swagger Coat". 

Can't you just see it in the model's pose that she knew the name of this pattern when she modeled it?

I actually kind of like the coat.  It seems very comfortable and just the sort of thing that you could wear anywhere and do anything in.  No wonder she's swaggering, with a coat like that!

(Still. . . )
Yarn Yuck Rule #27:
Some of us can't help but be swayed by the names (rather arbitrarily) given to objects, colors (of paint and cosmetics, for instance), and books, but do try not to take the pattern name too seriously or literally.

Just for the Fun Fur of It

In case you were wondering what to do with all that Fun Fur and other novelty yarn in your stash*, here are a few ideas. . .

Knit yourself a cozy faux fur "mink" jacket:

Whether you go for the classic brown or the more unusual tawny-foxy-russet, you're sure to turn heads!  (Just don't wander into the forest during bear-hunting season, ok?)

Go sleeveless for the warmer seasons!

If your stash isn't substantial enough for a coat or a vest, you can always make one of these charming hats:

(Is it just me, or does that last model look like she wants to cause the photographer bodily harm?  Who could blame her, though.  She looks atrocious in that hat.)

Try a Fun Fur cowl!

. . . Or Fun Fur earmuffs and. . . whatever those furry blobs on her hands are meant to be. . .

Keep your calves toasty with Fun Fur legwarmers!  (BONUS:  They look like furry Ugg Boots!)

If you don't like the natural color of your dog's fur (but don't want the hassle and expense of taking him to the hairdresser to have his coat dyed), nothing's simpler than whipping up a doggy body-toupee: 

And when you're done and you're left with small remnants of yarn?

I suggest you craft a bunch of these "Dust Bunnies"  (seriously, that's the name of the pattern) and sneak them into the homes of friends and family.  Won't they be surprised!

Of course, you could also just make a bunch of earrings with your leftovers. . .

Whatever you do with your stash of eyelash, don't forget that just because it's Fun Fur doesn't mean it can't be sexy. . . (Animal magnetism, etc., etc.  ...Though I will say that the model is very trim, and you need to be, to wear that outfit.)

You know, I feel like this is a hollow victory.  It's really not fair to mock Fun Fur, because it's altogether too easy to do.  Like shooting fish in a barrel. . . or Fun Fur Dust Bunnies in any location, since they have no limbs with which to move themselves. . . (So very, very sad.)

* Please, please tell me I'm not the only one with a goodly amount of novelty yarn in her stash.  It's from back before I really knew how to crochet.  I didn't realize that regular, plain old yarn is so much more versatile-- and most of it was bought really cheaply on CLEARANCE.  So, you see, I didn't actually have any choice in the matter, but had to buy some of it.  (Did I mention I'm a bargain-hunter?)