Extravagance

Ah, yes...

Nothing says "extravagance" like granny squares.

Unconvincing

I like granny squares as much as the next person.  They're a fun, versatile way to use up yarn remnants-- and they have a definite vintage/retro appeal. 

However, I remain unconvinced that they're the best choice for a dress / skirt and wrap / whatever this thing is...

No matter how skillfully it's draped, it looks a little too much like you're wrapped up in an afghan.

Rib Ticklers

You know, crochet motifs are pretty versatile.  They come in so many variations, and they're usually so bright and colorful.  They are extremely accessible-- even to beginners-- and they can be created relatively quickly and combined to make almost anything.

...Even "Rib Ticklers".

Note that I said they can be used to make Rib Ticklers-- not that they should.  (But apparently they are unisex-- so convenient!-- and put men into a nuzzling frame of mind.  So they're not all bad.)

Retro Granny Square Dress

Here's another for the granny square file:

Let's say you can get past the fact that this is a granny square dress... What's with that thin dark line on the bodice?  If you must have a thin dark line, wouldn't you put it where the bodice meets the skirt?  Not a few inches above that?  Weird.

Granny on the Catwalk

(Continuing our granny square theme from earlier...)

If you're an aficionado of weird crochet, you've probably seen this before.  Still, it's always worth another look:

That granny square dress is what might've resulted if Scarlett O'Hara hadn't had humongous curtains from which to fashion a dress, but had been forced to forage for fabric on a typical 1970s suburban sofa. 

The strangest thing is that this isn't the only granny square dress to hit the runway and red carpet in recent years.  Well, at least an afghan dress is sure to be cozy...  (Or as Scarlett would've said, "As God is my witness, I'll never go chilly again!")

"Granny Goes Wild"

Woo!

So this is what happens when Granny really lets her hair down!

She... crochets a motif-based sweater in primary colors...

...Hm.  (Is that all?)
...Yeah, Granny.  You go, girl.

You Asked for It

I'm sure this is book(let) was meant along the lines of, "Oh, looky!  You expressed an interest in floral doilies, granny square housecoats, and . . . whatever's in that Christmas-themed photo (stuffed toys and thread ornaments?).  And we heard you.  We heard-- and answered--  your pleas for the granny square housecoat.  (You can thank us later.)  Aren't you lucky we read our fan mail?  We'd do almost anything for you, our loyal readers!"

However, to us contrary types, it comes across more like this:

you asked for these.

That's right-- YOU.  This is all your doing, and don't you try to deny it!
If you don't like it, you have no-one to blame but yourself. 

. . . I think it may be the lack of an exclamation point (or even capitalization, for that matter) that does it. . .

Not everything should be crocheted...

Or knitted, for that matter.

Here's another one for the "What were they thinking?" file-- a 70's crocheted (granny squre) men's neck tie.

I feel so sorry for any poor sons, grandsons or husbands who might have been subjected to this hideous idea.  What must they have suffered?