"It is a truth universally acknowledged..."

Though I don't recall Mr. Darcy (or whatever other Pride and Prejudice character this is meant to be) wearing crocheted trousers or coat, I'm willing to overlook such inconsistencies...

What I cannot pretend not to notice, however, is the misspelling of Jane Austen's name. 

The shame!

What's a Girl to Do?

All knitted (or crocheted) up and nowhere to go!

Anchors Aweigh!

The perfect sweater (and hat) for your next nautical excursion...

(Those are some serious shoulder-pads!)

Red Pill / Blue Pill?

Check out this awesome crochet lace coat!

Maybe it's the shades... or those boots... or the model's stance... but I'm definitely getting a Matrix vibe here. 

...Well, you know, if The Matrix were populated by characters who loved to crochet...

Celebrity Look-Alike

Angela (from The Office) shows a little skin...
(Or maybe not.  But I do see a certain resemblance.)

Swimsuit Coverup FAIL

Sheesh, lady!

#1:  A swimsuit coverup is generally worn over a swimsuit... including the top half.

#2:  The point of a coverup is to cover something up.

#3:  If you find yourself about to burst the darn thing open, consider going up a size or two. 

Mmkay?

Paging the Posture Patrol

Ever hear older people talking about how young folks these days don't care about posture or understand how much it affects one's appearance (not to mention health, attitude, etc.)?  Well, be that as it may, it seems that poor posture isn't a purely modern invention:

Personally, I blame the photographer and layout designer.  Why couldn't they have afforded this poor lady another inch or two of space above her head, so she wouldn't have to lean to one side like that to avoid bumping her head on the title?   

So inconsiderate!

Not Pulling It Off...

She knew they were the hot item this season, but somehow Roberta couldn't shake the feeling that her turban seemed out of place with the rest of her outfit. 

Unfurgettable

I must admit, I don't usually have a problem with people wearing fur. 
However, even I might be tempted to throw a bucket of red paint on this fur-trimmed hat:

...And I don't care whether it's genuine or artificial! 

Resentment

Who can blame her, though?  Look!  They put her sweater on backwards!

Kooky

Want to secure your identity as the neighborhood "eccentric"?

You can't go wrong with a kooky vest:

What better use for scraps of yarn?

Hallelujah!

Good grief, Antoine!  I mean, sure, the sweater's nice, but must you always take things too far??

(Well, what else did I expect?  You can tell at a glance that he's the ultimate Mr. Positive.)

Multiple Choice

So, help me with a little something, please...

Is that thing on her hand:
A)  a fuzzy oven mitt,
B)  a bath mitt,
C)  a kinder, gentler boxing glove,
or
D)  a polar bear themed mitten?

I Can't Go On...

Dude, it's not that bad.  I mean, yeah, you are wearing a sweater draped over your shoulders while you're already wearing a sweater... but I promise, things will get better.  You just gotta hang in there... like that sweater hanging out on your already be-sweatered shoulders... Um, sorry.

Zut Alors!

Is this an attempt at a sexy French maid costume in crochet?

Must be, 'cause I can't think of any other reason someone in the modern world would "need" a lacy apron...

(By the way, what do you think is up with the globe and huge book in the background?  I wonder if someone got sexy French maid confused with sexy schoolgirl... Two totally different things, guys.)

Patented Moody Horizon-Gaze

Nothing sells knitwear like a couple of moody models:

I think someone's been watching a little too much teen drama...

Barnacle Babe

Somehow I fail to see the appeal of clothes that resemble a thriving colony of barnacles...

It would go nicely with these polyp accessories, though (perhaps in different colors)...
Ooh, and how could I forget this old gem?!

Today's Man

Huh.
"Today's Man" looks a lot like my mental image of Fussy Soap Opera Man...

...I wonder if they're related...

Set Phasers to Stun!

This model looks a little bit stunned...

Not that I blame her. 
"You mean you expect someone to actually wear this?  Like, for reals?"

I mean, ok.  The top itself isn't my style (tummy-baring, ripple afghan-looking thing that it is), but I can see how someone might like it.  But that odd "belt"?  I think that's a deal-breaker.

Spooky

Lovely little sweater. 
Totally creepy expression on the model's face.

(I can't shake this feeling that something is about to pounce on her from behind-- something horrible and deadly and generally unpleasant.)

You Poor, Deer Girl!

Celeste had been so excited when she found the pattern for those charming deer-head motifs.  (Deer were such important symbols in so many mythologies!)  Everyone else just wondered why she was wearing a sweater decorated with stylized deer skulls.

Poor thing; she never could understand why everyone assumed she was an avid huntress.

What the. . .?

NO.

Just. . . no.

The Return of Doily-Pants

...Now with cool denim accents!

Do you prefer groovy doily bell-bottoms...?

...Or something a little more form-fitting?

Either way, we've got you covered.  (Well, sort of.)

Ennui

The thrill was gone.  The bloom was off the rose.  The.. meh.  He couldn't be bothered to continue that train of thought.

Leaning back on his piano stool, listlessly plinking the keys, William wondered (carelessly) whether his moroseness was detectable to the outside world... "Aw, who cares, anyway...?"

(I am all fired up to make a sweater like that, now!  Inspired!  And it's all thanks to you, Mr. Model!)

The Bold and the Beautiful

It's cold enough that you need long pants and a thick sweater...

Why are you barefooted (on a rock), Canadiana Chunky chick? 

(She and her sweater may be "bold and beautiful", but one questions her common sense.)

Little Miss Doily-Pants

Lacy, crocheted "doily pants"...

 Nothin' like 'em for groovin' on your tip-toes...

Never Tuck Knits

Maybe it was fashionable back when these photos were taken, but a man in a snug-fitting, "tucked in" sweater just looks odd to my modern eyes:

And my, that last fellow especially is so very thin!  I didn't know men could have wasp-waists!

Just Super

Every fiber-crafter in the world deserves her own superhero costume* (complete with cape):

...I'm not sure I'd wear mine outdoors, though, as this brave soul seems to have done...


*I sincerely hope this is only a "for fun" costume.

What Shawl I Say...?

I can't help but appreciate the dainty stitch-work that goes into shawls of this type...

...but neither can I picture people wearing them as regular, honest-to-goodness clothes/accessories (outside of a fancy dress ball or a theatrical production).

...But then again, many people are more daring than I.

Romance Cover Models

Wow!  The drama just radiates off these two!

Nearly bursting the seams of her tight-fitting, zebra-print pants, Anja hopped up onto the back of the gently purring motorcycle.  She couldn't help noticing how casually handsome Sacha looked in his beige sweater and white slacks.  Pressing an urgent hand against his muscular thigh, she murmured huskily, "Take me away from all this!  I'd follow you anywhere!"

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

Well, it's certainly colorful... and those things on the shoulders would be pretty pot holders...

(Always looking for the positive!)

Let's Split!

Yow!

Sure, the pose looks uncomfortable and awkward. 
It really does accentuate the filet-style vest, though.

I Heart You

The heart on this sweet little red and white hat isn't fooling me. 

She's obviously not feelin' the love.


Creepy.
I can't decide if she's an alien disguised as a human (those vertical-looking pupils! those lips!), or just a cold-blooded killer.

In the Army Now

Looking around online, you can find a few afghans with a camouflage pattern (for soldiers, hunters, or anyone else who likes it, I guess) that actually do resemble camo.

And then there's this:

Dear designer:
Camouflage is not supposed to be a symmetrical, ink-blot-esque reflection.  Also, it looks nothing like this at all, except that it is green, black, and beige.

Star-Crossed Models

"For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo..."

Sheesh. 
It's only knitwear, you two!

I never knew cardigans were so depressing.

A Word of Fashion Advice

Do not-- I repeat, do NOT wear a belt on top of a knitted or crocheted vest. 

It's not a Good Look.

Typical Run-of-the-Mill

Just your typical run-of-the-mill photo of a young man modeling a colorful, knitted sweater...

...and holding a baby goat.

...Yeah.

Piercing Eyes

Wow. 
Wonder what the photographer did to tick her off...

Heap-Big Yarn Yuck

Indian Chief II:

Or as his tribe knows him, "He Who Wears Target".  (Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, maybe, but definitely gutsy!)

That's some heavy-duty fringe, there! 

Trying Too Hard

This is what "trying too hard" looks like:

Confetti Upcycling

So, what do you do with all those streamers and bits of confetti left over from your New Years bash?

Turn them into a nifty bolero, of course!

(Upcycling is so "in" right now!)

"What color...?"

"What color will you wear today?"

Passionate, fiery red? 
Playful pink? 
Deep-sea blue? 
Aqua? 
Emerald? 
Tangerine? 

Sunshiny yellow? 

...Oh.  White. 

With such a daring color choice, no wonder they saw fit to call special attention to it!