Extreme

Warning!  Warning! 

Prude Alert!  Prude Alert!

People with small children, bossy bosses, or weak stomachs-- as well as those with heart conditions and pregnant women (??)-- should exercise caution. 

Today's Yarn Yuck photo may not be appropriate for all audiences. 

(There.  Don't say I didn't warn you.)

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This, friends, is an extreme case of "wear something underneath":

It was obviously taken at a fashion show, and for whatever reason, it seems that almost anything goes on the runway.  (I suppose we should just be thankful for "the Brazilian", if you know what I mean...)

A few further words to the crocheters among us: 
The power of the pineapple is strong-- very strong-- and so it is all the more necessary that we wield that power wisely.  This... was unwise.

Name That Crochet Thingy!

Yes, ladies and gents, it's time again for that barrel of laughs-- that fount of funny-- Name That Crochet Thingy!  

(applause, applause)


First up, tonight, we have an oblong sheath with a drawstring tied into a cute bow...

Hm... What could that be?

If you guessed "baby bottle cover", congratulations, you just won 500 Name That Crochet Thingy credits (redeemable for random crap at your local Crochet Thingy Warehouse Club)! 

(As for the rest of you, get your minds out of the gutter, as they say.  For goodness' sake, this is a 1950's-era family game show! Tsk tsk!)

PLEASE Wear Something Underneath!

Warning: 
Today's photos may not be safe for work, and you probably don't want your little kids to see it, either.  Otherwise, brace yourself and scroll down. . .







Keep going. . .
 





(But keep in mind, it's not too late to turn back.  No-one will think less of you for it.)








Almost there. . .





Aaaaaannnd, here it is:

. . . I mean, seriously.  

I don't care if you modeled for Playboy; there are still some lines you just don't cross.  Those lines were back about a mile before you bought and wore this thing in a public place. 

. . . And if you find that you simply can't live without crochet mesh dresses (with nothing substantial underneath them), please at least avoid wearing them when you're out with your young daughter.  

Horrifying.

Wear Something Underneath!

As promised, here's one of many (many) to come-- a photo in the category of Wear Something Underneath:

As you can see, this one had the decency to wear something under her very open crochet dress, but in this case, Something is precious little.

"Um, excuse me, miss, but your bra strap is showing. . . Er, actually, the entire bra is showing. . . and . . actually, I can see your panties as well."

You'd almost think (especially if you saw only the right half of the photo) that this might be just a fancy lace slip-- you know, the kind women used to wear under dresses.  (Some still do, I'm sure, but I don't think it's as common as it was when I was younger-- oh, twenty years ago or so.)  But judging by the left half-- and the little matching bolero jacket-- I'd say this is meant to be worn "as is".

Shocking.

Does anyone actually wear things like this without something more concrete underneath?  Technically, I guess you don't see more than you do when someone wears a bikini, but it just feels so much more scandalous-- and there are different expectations at a beach than out and about town or in a shop (or wherever else you're supposed to wear this thing).

(Go ahead.  Call me a puritanical American.  I can take it.)

What the. . .?

Yes, it's back-- the dreaded "What the. . . ?" category, reserved for only the most bizarre and/or heinous acts of knit and crochet (and possibly occasionally other yarn-related craftiness).  You never know when it will strike! 

Today, I offer up for your amusement befuddlement horror. . . CROCHET MULES:

Now, the crochet mules are embarrassing enough on their own. . .  (What is with those ballet-style laces on the middle pair?) 

. . . And the exceedingly bare (and in one case, hairy) legs take it to a whole 'nother level of ohmygosh. 

But then (if you're like me) you take a closer look at the. . . um, positioning (if you will) of the three pairs of legs. . . combined with their bareness. . . and you either shudder or burst into snorts of laugher.  Or both, either simultaneously or in rapid succession. 

Yes, you might have gone your entire life without ever picturing three people doing scandalous things while wearing (possibly nothing but) crochet mules, but thanks to me, that crisis has been averted. 

You are welcome.