Birds of a Feather

Samantha welcomed Kristen into the Flock (as they called themselves)-- a bizarre clique of girls who broadcast their affiliation with the group by always wearing tops decorated with birds.  Swans, chickens, geese, parrots-- even Tweety or Big Bird would do in a pinch.  The specific type of bird didn't matter; it was only essential that a feathered creature of some description be worn at all times.  Failure to comply with this rule was punished with immediate and irrevocable expulsion from the Flock. 

Not a Hair Out of Place

It's just one disaster after another, with this photo:

Let's see...
There's the ugly chunk of black plastic on her arm... A sad attempt at a bracelet, or is it a piece of litter she found on the beach?

Then there are the excessive bobby-pins in her hair.  (Look, I know it can be windy on the beach, but at some point you've got to accept the possibility that your hair may move.)

However, it's unlikely that anyone will notice either of those lesser offenses, because, hello, HIDEOUS CROCHET SWIMSUIT.

Brown and orange... lots of holes in the fabric (one of the chief complaints against crochet swimwear)... a bottom half that is far from slimming... and then that pathetic strip connecting the top and bottom... It's just one bundle of gratuitous EWW.

(Or maybe that's what everyone's wearing to the beach these days.)

I Taut I Taw a Puddy Tat...

Only the manliest of men wear sweaters decorated with primitive/Cubist(?)-style puppies and kitties.

Dramaattinen!

According to Google Translate, that's Finnish for "dramatic", which seemed fitting for this photo, with the vintage cars, the black-tie attire, and the "Bond-- James Bond"-style facial expression on the guy in the background.

Yes, dramatic... and fuzzy.

(If you want to attract your very own Finnish version of 007, get yourself a puffy-sleeved fuzz-monster of a sweater.  Apparently they find it irresistible.)

Clown Couture

These are the kinds of things that lady clowns ogle through shop windows:

 

"...I know I really shouldn't.  Bozo already complains about how many clothes I buy.  He says I have more pairs of giant shoes than one person can possibly use in a lifetime-- and I've had to hide my collection of squeaky rubber noses from him to avoid another argument... But just look at those huge faux buttons!  And the random dimensional dots on the back!  Ooh, just think how jealous the other lady clowns will be!"

"High" Fashion

There's not much emphasis on the yarn in this one, but you'll not go starving for the yuck!

Sometimes (most times?) when you look at so-called high fashion, you can't help thinking that yes, someone must've been very "high" indeed to come up with such bizarre ideas. 

Ideas like tumbleweed hair:

Or ideas like scary eye makeup:

(Sheesh!  Don't her eyes look big enough as they are, without adding a half-inch of eyeliner??)

Or even ideas like... whatever the heck this is supposed to be:

(Hey, look!  There's yarn in that last one!  And what a poor use of it, too...)

Knitter's Pr0n...?

I guess knitters were supposed to like this pose because it involves balls of yarn...

Because, really, who doesn't love to knit (or... untangle a ball of yarn) while leaning against a dusty ladder in the corner of a structure that is either in the process of demolition or ought to be?  I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of pretending I'm in a horror movie, seconds from becoming the latest victim of the monster du jour. 

However-- who in the heck thought it was a good idea to toss those lovely balls of delicate yarn on the dusty, dirty floor?!?  SHOCKING.

Also... what's with the random scattering of dominoes...?  Like the scene wasn't quite weird enough without them...

(It's just one thing after another with this photo!)