EPIC Bad Hair Day

In the world of knitwear modeling, there are bad hair days. . .

("Oops.  Forgot to comb my hair this morning.  Or. . . take my hair out of the ponytail after going to the gym. . . a week ago.")

And then there are EPIC bad hair days. . .

("I am currently battling a bad-hair demon.  My priest assures me we can have the problem cleared up within a few weeks.")

Eek. 
That is some bad, bad hair. 

Whatever possessed the stylist to do something like that?  On purpose? 

It almost looks like the poor model is fighting back the tears.  And I can't blame her.  That 'do is painfully bad.  No, I mean it looks like it might actually be causing her physical pain. 

A Cry for Help

If you see a friend or family member dressed like this, please be sure they seek immediate professional help. 

Please. 

Because wearing this-- white bermuda shorts over blue hose, with. . . whatever in the world those boots are. . . and a fuzzy, felted-looking short-sleeved, turtle-necked top under a cabled vest (which on its own is quite pretty, but that's beside the point)-- it is clearly nothing less than a cry for help-- and swift intervention. 

Consider:  If you don't do something quickly, it's only a matter of time before the dreaded Fashion Police swoop in on a sting operation.  You wouldn't want that on your conscience, now would you?

Ground Control to. . . What the Heck is That?

Um, yeah. . . Houston, we have some kooky headgear.

So. . . When is anyone ever going to wear something like this?  Skiiing?  Maybe.  If the person is skiing in the Great Wilderness and has no expectation of coming into contact with another human being. 

I'm sorry, folks.  I just can't get over the use of a metallic crochet doily as a "headphone" in this lime green knitted "Snoopy cap".  It baffles me how this ever came into existence.

". . .That's one small goof for knit designer, one giant guffaw for mankind."

"Roger that."

*Le Sigh*

It must be hard work modeling knit and crochet clothing. 

It can really take it out of a girl.

So who's to blame her if she resorts to leaning against the occasional convenient wall and pretending that it's an artistic pose?

Yes, yes, I've done my share of wall-leaning-- especially in my younger days-- but I don't think it's generally done like this, with the hips a good foot or two from the wall and the arms hanging limply at the sides.  Looks like her upper back is magnetically attracted to stone. . . Or like she's doing a trust-building exercise with the wall.  ("Just let your reservations go!  Allow yourself to fall backwards, completely secure in the knowledge that your wall will catch you!")

"What the. . ."

This "what the" is a fairly small photo, which makes it difficult to make out some of the details, and honestly, I think we all ought to be thankful for that fact.

I'm marking this as "swimwear", though to tell the truth, I'm not 100% sure it's meant to be swum in.   (Wear this in public-- in the bright light of day-- poolside or at the beach?  Seriously?)

But what else could it be?

Something for the bedroom, perhaps. . . though I pity the poor man who's expected to keep a straight face when his lady saunters in wearing a daffodil bikini.  ("Let's just switch the lights off first, shall we, Sweetums?")

The Lion, the Witch and the Very Odd Wardrobe Choice

Have you seen the 2005 version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe?  While not strictly necessary, a familiarity with the costuming in that film will increase your enjoyment of today's Yarn Yuck offering.

That's because these bizarre collars are quite reminiscent of that crazy get-up worn by Jadis, the White Witch, in the movie's final battle scene.  (This is the costume to which I refer.)

Right?
I'm right, aren't I?

This is the one she wears to fancy parties-- her version of the Little Black Dress:

. . . And this one is for when she's in the mood for something a little more colorful:

I suppose that if you're an evil witch ruling the world in a fantastical parallel universe, you can pretty much get away with wearing anything-- even this.  I mean, if someone smirks-- stiffles a laugh-- raises an eyebrow-- ZAP! you just turn them to stone.  (That'll quiet the rest of them!)  But for those of us who live in the real world. . . maybe it's best to give this one a miss.

I'm Too Sexy for This Sweater

Sometimes you have to wonder. . .

. . . whose stroke of genius was it to tell the model to pose like this (and with a frilly cravat-y thing poking out at the neck)?

"Yes, dahling, I'm loving it-- loving it.  Now, try putting your hand on the side of your head.  No, with the elbow up-- higher-- higher!  Pretend you're leaning against an invisible brick wall.  Bellissimo!"

Very awkward, is it not?  And to make matters worse, something about this guy's expression makes me feel like "I'm Too Sexy" should be playing in the background.