Not a Hair Out of Place

It's just one disaster after another, with this photo:

Let's see...
There's the ugly chunk of black plastic on her arm... A sad attempt at a bracelet, or is it a piece of litter she found on the beach?

Then there are the excessive bobby-pins in her hair.  (Look, I know it can be windy on the beach, but at some point you've got to accept the possibility that your hair may move.)

However, it's unlikely that anyone will notice either of those lesser offenses, because, hello, HIDEOUS CROCHET SWIMSUIT.

Brown and orange... lots of holes in the fabric (one of the chief complaints against crochet swimwear)... a bottom half that is far from slimming... and then that pathetic strip connecting the top and bottom... It's just one bundle of gratuitous EWW.

(Or maybe that's what everyone's wearing to the beach these days.)