Freeform Swimsuit

You can find photos of some really amazing, elaborate freeform Irish crochet out there, but sometimes freeform just goes horribly awry...

Flower Power x 3

Too-- much-- flower-- power!-- Can't-- take-- all-- the-- loopy flowers!

I mean, seriously. 
The bag?  ...Well, ok. 
The hat?  Only if you insist. 
But what is that other thing-- the loopy flower garland that's draped all over her?  A bizarre mish-mash of choker, suspenders, and scarf? 

Fuzzy Flowers

...You know, maybe there's a reason God decided not to make flowers out of fuzzy novelty yarn. 

Just a thought.

You Don't Bring Me Flowers

Crocheted and knitted flowers in a vase-- for when you reach that point at which silk flowers just don't look fake enough for you anymore.  (The crocheted butterfly is looking a bit... sickly, though.)

Bulky Openwork Poncho

Maybe for some, but not for me:

No, not even if it does have little balls on the ends of the fringe. 

In 3-D!!!

What could be better than a meshy doily-dress covered in daisies...?

Why, a meshy doily-dress covered in 3-D daisies, of course!!

...Another of those "where would you ever wear something like this?" items...

Flower Power

If the average bikini doesn't do enough to focus attention on your bosom, just slap on a couple of daisy motifs to really draw the eye:

Parasol

...In thirty years, she would wonder how she had sustained so much skin damage.  ("But I never went anywhere without a parasol to protect me from the sun!")

...In thirty minutes, she would wonder why people were staring as she walked past, parasol all a-twirl.  ("I know I'm lookin' good, but still...")

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

Well, it's certainly colorful... and those things on the shoulders would be pretty pot holders...

(Always looking for the positive!)

Attack of the Crochet Cabbage Roses!

They're swarming her!  Quick!  Someone bring the Roundup!

Haven't we been over this before? 

Please, my fellow crocheters.  Show a little self-restraint!

"What the. . ."

This "what the" is a fairly small photo, which makes it difficult to make out some of the details, and honestly, I think we all ought to be thankful for that fact.

I'm marking this as "swimwear", though to tell the truth, I'm not 100% sure it's meant to be swum in.   (Wear this in public-- in the bright light of day-- poolside or at the beach?  Seriously?)

But what else could it be?

Something for the bedroom, perhaps. . . though I pity the poor man who's expected to keep a straight face when his lady saunters in wearing a daffodil bikini.  ("Let's just switch the lights off first, shall we, Sweetums?")

Inspired by Nature

Today's piece looks to me like it was inspired by nature. . .

Yes, inspired by Spanish moss. . . or some form of seaweed. . .

Who wouldn't want to have either of those things draped from shoulder to shoulder?  ("It makes you feel like a mermaid!")

(And on a side note, I wonder who told the model to put one hand on her bum for this photo-- or maybe it was her own stroke of genius.)

Someone Bring the Pruning Shears

I'll be the first to admit that, as an afghan-doily-crocheter-type person, I have a thing for motifs.  I tend to collect them-- even hoard them away like a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter.  I'll probably never get around to crocheting all the motifs I have squirreled away, but that's not the point.  The point is that when I see a new one, I must have it for my collection.  (It may be a sickness.  The test results aren't in, yet. . .)

Still, even a motif-lover such as myself knows that there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.  There is such a thing as too much-- especially when it comes to sweaters overgrown with poofy, three-dimensional motifs. 

It looks like someone planted a crochet rose bush, then neglected to prune it for twenty years, resulting in a mishmash of yarn that threatens to eat this poor woman alive.

Again, I generally like floral, dimensional motifs-- but this. . . Ick.

(Also:  How much extra weight do you reckon all those flowers add to the sweater?)