"Back to the Future"

If, like me, you've noticed that it's kind of chilly out there, lately, and you're in the mood to make yourself a nice, cozy hat-- and you actually have the spare time to do so, because you haven't assigned yourself a crazy amount of handmade gifts to finish by the end of December...

...then I'd like to be able to tell you I found the perfect pattern for you... but I haven't.

Well, not unless you want it to look like you knit it out of a steel scourer:

(You know, those stainless steel scouring pads people use in the kitchen sink?  Isn't that just what this monstrosity looks like?  Also, what's up with the joined shoulders?  Futuristic?  ...Possibly.  Strange choice?  Definitely.)

"Back to the Future," it says...
If that's the future, I guess I'll be living in the past.