"So, yeah. When my girlfriend offered to knit me this sweater, I was all like, 'Sure, baby, whatever you wanna do', because I wanna be supportive of her and all that crap, y'know? Besides, I mean, like I get cold from time to time, so sure, a sweater could be cool."
"But then when she gives it to me, and I see it for the first time, I'll all like, 'Uhhhh, thanks, babe. . .' I mean, I don't wanna say anything, but seriously? It's like something a chick would wear. I mean, look at it. These little whatever-they-are on the front. . . And then the color! Light purple? I think she calls is 'lilac', which honestly is even worse. I mean, I know some guys wear pink, and I got no problem with them or whatever, but it's just not that masculine, you know? It's not my style.
"But whatever. I can't say anything to her about it, so I guess I'm stuck wearing it until I can accidentally 'lose' it at the gym or something. Because seriously, I love her and all, but-- really? I'm supposed to wear this in public? I'm only wearin' it now because this morning she asked why I never wear it and looked like she was either gonna cry or punch me. . .
"Like I said, I love the girl, but just because she wears nothing but 'lilac' doesn't mean I have to, too, right?
"I mean. . . right?"
(Poor guy doesn't realize she's standing right there and probably heard every word. . .)