Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Real Mean Wear Lilac

"So, yeah.  When my girlfriend offered to knit me this sweater, I was all like, 'Sure, baby, whatever you wanna do', because I wanna be supportive of her and all that crap, y'know?  Besides, I mean, like I get cold from time to time, so sure, a sweater could be cool."

"But then when she gives it to me, and I see it for the first time, I'll all like, 'Uhhhh, thanks, babe. . .'  I mean, I don't wanna say anything, but seriously?  It's like something a chick would wear.  I mean, look at it.  These little whatever-they-are on the front. . . And then the color!  Light purple?  I think she calls is 'lilac', which honestly is even worse.  I mean, I know some guys wear pink, and I got no problem with them or whatever, but it's just not that masculine, you know?  It's not my style.

"But whatever.  I can't say anything to her about it, so I guess I'm stuck wearing it until I can accidentally 'lose' it at the gym or something.  Because seriously, I love her and all, but-- really?  I'm supposed to wear this in public?  I'm only wearin' it now because this morning she asked why I never wear it and looked like she was either gonna cry or punch me. . .

"Like I said, I love the girl, but just because she wears nothing but 'lilac' doesn't mean I have to, too, right?

"I mean. . . right?"

(Poor guy doesn't realize she's standing right there and probably heard every word. . .)

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