Make His Day.

I advise you not to mock the "veggie-saurus" on his sweater. 
(Poor anger management skills.  Plus he's fairly ruthless with that croquet mallet.)

Flex

This doesn't have much to do with yucky yarn-wear; though just about every child in the photo is wearing a sweater, they're all either nice-looking or innocuous...

...I just wonder what it is about these kids that has made them so (apparently) muscular.
Or are they just junior body-builders-in-training?

Crochet Border Sampler Poncho

Parenting Lesson of the Day:  Immobile children make fewer messes around the house.

I can see what happened here:  Mom or Grandma got a new book full of cool crocheted border patterns and was looking for an excuse-- any excuse-- to try out a few of her favorites. 

Monstrous

What little'un wouldn't want to wear Crocheted Monster Overalls?

Aw, poor monster.  He looks sad...
(Y'all, maybe we shouldn't call him a monster any more.  I think we may have hurt his feelings...)

Moo

Some children are fascinated by dinosaurs... some by mythical creatures, like unicorns or mermaids... Others daydream of racing across the plains on horseback.  Little Jimmy's daydreams were populated by herds of cattle.

A Little Nutty

Ariadne's mummy (whom you may remember from this post) finished crocheting her little darling's outfit just in time for the Giant Acorn Festival.

...True, she'd had to bluff her way through much of the skirt (yarn loops are such faster work than actual stitches), but there were plenty of giant acorns-- and that was what really mattered.

Everyone Has One

Yes, I know (most) kids love animals, so it's only natural that children's clothing is so often decorated with animal motifs...

But I must confess that I'm less familiar with a childhood interest in animal rears. 
Even if they are knitted and braided and wearing adorable bows. 

Look on the Bright Side

A serene smile lit the face of the younger of the two girls.  Being selected as one of the PomPom Cult's annual human sacrifices was a bit of bad luck, but at least she got to wear a ceremonial pompom frock...

...and they'd been given such beautiful toys as parting gifts, too!

(The moral of the story:  Pompoms make everything better.)

Bwock!

When you dress children, you can push the envelope a little.  Something that would look odd (if not "woo, that lady's cuckoo") on an adult can be acceptable (possibly even "cute as a button") on a child.

...But if you don't set some type of parameters, you might end up pushing that envelope right off the side of a cliff. 

Allow me to present the Chicken Dress as a case in point:

Now, before you squeal with delight and run off in search of the pattern, ask yourself-- how many occasions in a child's life really call for a Chicken Dress?  (See?  I just saved you a lot of time and trouble.  You're welcome.)

No Gender Confusion Here!

Ever since the day when that horrid woman in the grocery store had mistaken the bald-headed infant Madeleine for a baby boy, her parents had taken pains to prevent any future misunderstandings... 

Veg Head

Little Jimmy would never completely forgive his mother for making him wear the vegetable stalk hat.  I mean really!  What was the woman thinking?

The Good, The Bad, & the Weird

You may have noticed there was no Yarn Yuck yesterday.  (I hope none of you had a panic attack... I'd hate to have that on my conscience.)  To make up for that disappointment, I'm going to serve up something special today-- some fairly mindblowing (imho) Yuck.  So without further ado...

You know how in the classic Western, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, Clint Eastwood's character wears a poncho and some sort of cowboy hat?  (Confession:  I've never actually watched the whole film, but hey, everyone has seen enough clips of it through the years to know what I'm talking about, right?)

Anyway, that's what this outfit reminds me of... only it's for girls, so it had to be the obligatory pink and lavender (with the not-so-obligatory yellow and black accents).  It's not exactly the colors that make this thing a fine specimen of Yarn Yuck, though... Not so much the color scheme as the... Well, take a look for yourself:

Isn't it stunning? 

Putting aside the multi-color, multi-design, fringed knitted shorts for a moment... check out the design on the poncho.  Designer, dear, where is this strange world where there are multiple suns shining in the sky?  What are the lavender posts to which the stick figures in boats are so desperately rowing?  Why are said posts spewing lines of lavender into the sky?  Most puzzling of all-- when you decided (or were asked) to design a poncho and shorts set for girls, how did you ever come up with this?

Birds of a Feather

Samantha welcomed Kristen into the Flock (as they called themselves)-- a bizarre clique of girls who broadcast their affiliation with the group by always wearing tops decorated with birds.  Swans, chickens, geese, parrots-- even Tweety or Big Bird would do in a pinch.  The specific type of bird didn't matter; it was only essential that a feathered creature of some description be worn at all times.  Failure to comply with this rule was punished with immediate and irrevocable expulsion from the Flock. 

Cooperation

It's so important that we start early teaching our children the principles of negotiation and cooperation-- the benefits of teamwork--  don't you think?

Child Models

"Just look at the camera and smile when they tell you to, Sammy.  Try not to worry; it'll be over soon."

(Is it just me?  Those poor kids look kind of uncomfortable...)

Hittin' the Bottle

Naomi finally had to admit to herself that young Dillon's ketchup addiction had spiraled out of control.  Over the past few months, he had progressed from using french fries (or pommes, as she liked to call them when she was feeling fancy) as a ketchup delivery system to slurping it straight from the bottle.  Swift intervention was the only answer...

Men in Mesh, Day 6

It's a little known fact, but mesh actually has several special health-protecting attributes-- thus these "Health Vests". 

Oh, yeah.  He looks healthy to me.  Nice and healthy...*

And to the right, there, you'll see a vintage pre-teen heartthrob in his very attractive "health vest".  Keep your tween daughters away from this blog entry, whatever you do!  He'll only break their hearts.

Don't you just love how they've tucked the mesh vests into their pants?  Very cool.

*Alright, the pretend-lusting after all these mesh-clad men is finally beginning to get to me.  Only one-- more-- day...  Think-- I-- can-- make it....

Fun for the "Almost Teens"

"Fashions and Fun for the "Almost Teens"!

Look at them, those "almost teens"!  They're having so much wholesome fun.  Almost makes you wish you were an "almost teen" again, yourself, doesn't it?  (Ok, not really.  There's actually not enough yarn in the world to make that sound tempting, but for the sake of the entry, we pretend. . .)

Tra-la-la!

Oh, to be an "almost teen"!  To have cozy sleep-over slumber parties with your besties!

(Funny thing, though.  None of my friends knitted, back when I was an "almost teen".  Possibly that's because it was the late 80s/early 90s, and knitting wasn't quite cool again, yet.  I wonder if even "almost teens" of the 60s and 70s truly ever knitted at sleep-overs.)

I love how this girl is leaning back with her arms folded behind her head. . . and yet there's nothing there for her to be leaning against, except for the fairly uncomfortable-looking edge of a coffee table.

. . . Meanwhile, a yarn octopus lion with braided tentacles legs perches on a side table and listens to their schoolgirl prattle, disapproval in every feature. . .

Creepy Crochet Kids

Don't deny it.

They creep you out, too, don't they?

What with the matching outfits (especially the one with bell-bottoms*) and the (rose-adorned) guitar, I also get the impression that they're like a smaller-scale, more folksy, soulful version of the Brady Bunch Group (whatever they called themselves).

*Ah yes, the crocheted bell-bottoms.  (You didn't think those escaped my ever-scrutinizing eye, did you?  Oh ye of little faith!)  Is it just me, or doesn't it look like the only reason they're staying up is that they're being held up?  Might explain why the girl in the skirt is holding the guitar.  The bell-bottomed girl has to content herself with vocals, leaving both hands free to avoid a major "wardrobe malfunction".

Baby-in-a-Bag

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's true!

Now you, too, can enjoy the comfort and convenience of Baby-in-a-Bag™! 

With traditional blankets, your baby could be rolling, scooting, or crawling all over the place.  (That's just not cool, Baby!)  But with Baby-in-a-Bag™, there'll be none of that nonsense! 

Seal your baby in crochet today!  Tucked tidily away in a soft and cozy crocheted bag (with built-in hoodie and satin trim!), your little one will never (be able to) cause you a moment's worry, ever again! 

Call in the next five minutes and we'll even throw in one of our patented Dog-in-a-Bag crocheted bags!

CALL NOW!