Ticker-Tape

As you dress for whatever fabulous New Year's Eve party you'll be attending tonight, I bet you'll wish you had one of these:

Why wait for the clock to strike midnight to be covered in streamers and confetti? 

(I love it that they had her model it multiple times-- and the only things the changed were her stockings, shoes, and necklace.  Oh, and they slightly curled her hair.  Makes all the difference in the world.  Apparently.)

Santa Looks a Bit Flushed...

"Um... 'Scuse me, Santa... but I've really gotta go!"

Look, I realize he sees me when I'm sleeping and knows when I'm awake... I guess I can deal with that.  (I mean, he has to decide if I've been naughty or nice, right?) ...But does he have to keep tabs on my "bathroom activities", too?!  This is getting ridiculous!

Merry Christmas!

No Yuck this time-- just a very nicely done yarn-craft nativity scene:

Merry Christmas!

Little Known Fact

I never knew Santa had such a thing for cheetah print...

Missing: 8 Tiny Reindeer (+ Rudolph)

What happened to Rudolph & Company??

Santa, I know the price of flying reindeer feed has increased sharply over the past few years, but this is unacceptable. 

(So, who thinks this travesty is the result of a crocheter too lazy or short of time to make all the reindeer?)

"Look What a Can Can Be"

"Look what a can can be:  Mother Christmas":

Pretty nifty, huh?   (And the resemblance to Mother Christmas is uncanny.)

"Filled with candy, etc, these make great little 'keepsake gifts'"...

..."Mrs. Kringle (Over Pringles!)"
(Oh-ho!  We have another poet who didn't know-it!)

Well, snap to it, all of you! 
There are still a couple more days of crafting time before the Big Day!  Whip out those hooks, start scarfing down tubes of Pringles, and work up some great little "keepsake gifts"!  Right NOW!

P.S. It just struck me that maybe what "Mother Christmas" is holding is meant to be a crochet hook and a crochet project... Before, I just assumed it was supposed to be a candy cane and a poorly-made stocking.  (That would explain the loose thread, at least.)

Candy Cane Cover

Here's another of those projects that shout "I've run out of real things to make":

Yes, Candy Cane Covers, because you don't want to leave those suckers out with no protection!  (They might catch a chill.)

Ah, nothing captures the joy of the season like a candy cane shoved up a crocheted horse head!

What a CROK...

Today's Yarn Yuck is something a little different... Today, I have for you a "MARVELOUS 'CROK' NATIVITY SET!" (cue the wild applause)

(See?  It says so right there.)

Now, if you're like me, you read that and wonder what "CROK" is, exactly. 
Fortunately for us, there's a little subtitle that explains everything!

Oh, so "CROK" is a clever acronym for "Crochet Looks Knitted"... But... wait.  No, it isn't.  An acronym would be something like "CLK"... Or if you want something pronounceable, maybe "CROLOK".

Well, what does this CROK stuff look like, anyway?

Hm...
I leave it to you to decide whether it looks or not it lives up to the promise of "CROK".

Will the Real Kris Kringle Please Stand Up?

Santa... Is that you?

No, no, you look good. 
...Really.
...Well, I guess we'd better be going.  Lots of shopping to do... You know how it is...
Yeah, nice seeing you, too!  We'll have to get together again sometime, you know, after all the holiday rush is over... Yeah... Well, bye!

(I think the strain of the workload might finally be getting to him...)

They Prefer "Pleasantly Plump"

"Hey, who you callin' pudgy?!"

Whoa... Easy on the oats, there, Rudolph! 
(And maybe we should put out skim milk and rice cakes for Santa, this year...)

How... Festive.

Well, look at that! 

It's a... Christmassy crochet wall-hanging... thing.  ...Oh, for me? ...You shouldn't have!

Get Crackin'!

Yikes!  
It's a gang of creepy crocheted Nutcrackers (whose purpose is purely decorative, as they have no moving parts and therefore couldn't crack a nut to save their stuffing)!!

Try not to panic.  Remember:  They're more afraid of you than you are of them...

Poor things.  They're really more pathetic than anything else.

Bewitching

"But Mo-om!  I said I wanted to dress up like a witch... not in a sweater decorated with a witch... (sigh)..."

(I don't really see the appeal of holiday-themed clothing, because, really, how many times a year can one wear a sweater decorated with a witch flying on her broomstick over an ancient Egyptian pyramid?)

Hope you're nibbling candy corn and other sugary goodies by the end of the evening!