Today's yarny horror is known as a "Pottie Peeker".
Yes, you read that right.
Here it is again, cutely decorated with scrolls of toilet paper:
Now, you may be asking yourself, "What exactly is a Pottie Peeker? Or do I even want to know?"
Well, according to the vintage magazine in which I found them, "it's a characterization of a person or animal especially for the bathroom. It's also a dispenser for bathroom tissue".
"Oh," you're now thinking. "One of
those. Aren't they just the upper half of a Barbie doll wearing a (crocheted) dress with a full (crocheted) skirt that 'artfully' conceals a roll of t.p.? Yeah, already seen that. Next!"
But not so hasty, friend! No, not all toilet paper beauty aids (protectors? I d'know. What's their purpose, anyway?) come in doll-dress format. No, they sometimes look like cakes, poodles, sushi
rolls
-- there are even some that are made to look like a roll of toilet paper. (That just blew your mind, didn't it? ...Well, unless you've already seen it done, maybe...)
Anyway, back to the point. Those doll-dress t.p. covers are
so twentieth-century boring. Besides, all they do is cover a roll of t.p.--
pointless! Why would you settle for that when you could have a toilet paper
dispenser like
this?
A toilet paper dispenser that feeds the t.p. out of a (crocheted) dog's behind?
Awesome!! ...is what we're apparently supposed to be thinking when we see this. What I actually think is closer to this: *pause to give the poor brain time to process this bizarre concept* What??
Why? Ew... And... do I really want a t.p. dispenser made of something soft, absorbant, and difficult to keep clean? This is, after all, something that will be touched by (or come awfully close to being touched by) possibly "soiled" hands... Aw, I'm overthinking this. I don't need to defend or explain my position. Just
look at the thing!
Consider yourself horrified for the day.
